Try dedicating a day to self-awareness, noticing what you say, your tone, without activating your inner critic. See if you can sense the emotions your words create.
How do you feel after speaking?
How do other people react?
That night, ask yourself some questions, without judging yourself. With empathy.
What suppressed anger or grief or longing lies frozen in me?
What did I really want to say?
How did I mask those inner feelings?
Maybe on the first night or maybe in a few days you will start becoming aware of the buried emotional issues. This is the core behind your speech, especially when you are whining or criticising.
It will be very essential to own these issues. Only then will higher awareness seep in.
Disowned pain has a habit of leaking through our words. When we own and hand it over to a higher source, it nullifies.
Once we are even partly aware of these emotions, we begin the process of self healing through ‘Mantra’ or powerful words. This process can be done any time of the day. Preferably early morning or before sleeping.
Sit comfortably. Close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths and start to recite the Mantra very gently. It must be in a state of relaxation. As we recite, we keep on relaxing more and more. Do not focus your thoughts on anything. Let the thoughts come and go.
The number of times a Mantra is spoken is not important, the state of relaxation is. You can choose any of the mantras
1. Ek oangkaaar, Sat Naam, Karta Purakh, Nirbhau, Nirvair, Akaal Moorat, Ajooni Sehbhang, Gurparsaad. (This is the Mool Mantra from the Sikh scriptures).
2. OM (from Hindu scriptures)
3. Om Mani Padme Hum(Buddhist Mantra)
4. Praise Divine, Grace Sublime(a universal chant)
There are other Mantras which can be used as well. But the reader would be well advised not to venture too much into them unless she has the knowledge.
In a few days the inner hurt will begin to dissipate, our energy will be refined and we will notice a distinct change in our tone.
May all who read be blessed.